How to get fat, stay fat and produce fat kids
How to gain weight and keep it on.
Follow these strategies and it is guaranteed you will gain weight
within one month. Results will vary.
Stick with these habits and you can keep
gaining or maintaining your fat ratio. Never be called Twiggy again.
Eat when you are not hungry. Eat by the clock not your gut feelings.
Eat whatever is put in front of you. No arguments.
Eat foods and drink drinks you don't want.
Always clean your plate.
Believe if you stuff yourself you are really helping out the people who are
starving in the world.
Eat without thinking about it. Every time you pass by a piece of food,
a candy dish or happen upon a bag of chips just eat it with no conscious thought.
Adhere to the waste not want not philosophy about all things edible.
Don't ever find out what your body craves by allowing yourself to feel hungry.
Believe that if you actually feel hunger you will overeat.
Never have a hunger pang.
Think you're going to die right away unless you eat by the clock.
Eat lots of carbs and lots of sweet tasting things, fake or not but especially
fake sweets, they will help you gain weight even faster.
Always drink lots of soda or sweet tasting beverages with your meal.
Drink lots of liquid between bites of food and fill up your tummy as if were a
water balloon, thinking that if you load up with liquid you will eat less.
Fill up at least once a day
on doughnuts, cakes, snack foods like chips, candy bars and diet soda.
Eat lots of sweets that taste good and are empty calories then say
you didn't eat a thing.
Believe in tv commercials and other media lies that tell you that fat is bad, fat causes you to be fat, meat and animal products are bad for you. Instead, load up
on lots of carbs, diet, sugar free and fatfree products then watch yourself
balloon up to the size of one of these animals:
pig,hog,horse,hippo or an elephant.
Listen to and follow the beliefs and behaviors of other fat people
that tell you about their new diets which don't work,
don't last and they can't live with for the rest of their lives.
Keep jumping from one fad diet to the next. Lose 20 pounds then gain 50.
Next time around gain a whopping 100 lbs.
Use food as a weapon, a reward, a tool to control yourself, your
emotions and other people.
Don't think of food not for what it is, which is really fuel for your body.
Eat when you're upset.
Eat when you're angry.
Eat when you're tired.
Eat when you're happy.
Eat when you're sad or "down" in the dumps.
Eat when you're stressed out.
ALWAYS be eating something, regardless of how you feel or the circumstances.
Keep eating after you are full. (If you stuff your stomach often you will stretch it so
you won't know when you are full. Guaranteed to produce fat children who
grow up to be fat adults)
Think of it as an insult if someone offers you food and you turn it down.
Take hormones, birth control pills or methods, use steroids and eat things
that contain these.
How to gain weight and keep it on.
Follow these strategies and it is guaranteed you will gain weight
within one month. Results will vary.
Stick with these habits and you can keep
gaining or maintaining your fat ratio. Never be called Twiggy again.
Eat when you are not hungry. Eat by the clock not your gut feelings.
Eat whatever is put in front of you. No arguments.
Eat foods and drink drinks you don't want.
Always clean your plate.
Believe if you stuff yourself you are really helping out the people who are
starving in the world.
Eat without thinking about it. Every time you pass by a piece of food,
a candy dish or happen upon a bag of chips just eat it with no conscious thought.
Adhere to the waste not want not philosophy about all things edible.
Don't ever find out what your body craves by allowing yourself to feel hungry.
Believe that if you actually feel hunger you will overeat.
Never have a hunger pang.
Think you're going to die right away unless you eat by the clock.
Eat lots of carbs and lots of sweet tasting things, fake or not but especially
fake sweets, they will help you gain weight even faster.
Always drink lots of soda or sweet tasting beverages with your meal.
Drink lots of liquid between bites of food and fill up your tummy as if were a
water balloon, thinking that if you load up with liquid you will eat less.
Fill up at least once a day
on doughnuts, cakes, snack foods like chips, candy bars and diet soda.
Eat lots of sweets that taste good and are empty calories then say
you didn't eat a thing.
Believe in tv commercials and other media lies that tell you that fat is bad, fat causes you to be fat, meat and animal products are bad for you. Instead, load up
on lots of carbs, diet, sugar free and fatfree products then watch yourself
balloon up to the size of one of these animals:
pig,hog,horse,hippo or an elephant.
Listen to and follow the beliefs and behaviors of other fat people
that tell you about their new diets which don't work,
don't last and they can't live with for the rest of their lives.
Keep jumping from one fad diet to the next. Lose 20 pounds then gain 50.
Next time around gain a whopping 100 lbs.
Use food as a weapon, a reward, a tool to control yourself, your
emotions and other people.
Don't think of food not for what it is, which is really fuel for your body.
Eat when you're upset.
Eat when you're angry.
Eat when you're tired.
Eat when you're happy.
Eat when you're sad or "down" in the dumps.
Eat when you're stressed out.
ALWAYS be eating something, regardless of how you feel or the circumstances.
Keep eating after you are full. (If you stuff your stomach often you will stretch it so
you won't know when you are full. Guaranteed to produce fat children who
grow up to be fat adults)
Think of it as an insult if someone offers you food and you turn it down.
Take hormones, birth control pills or methods, use steroids and eat things
that contain these.
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